Official Thumbs Up

Today, I had my follow up appointment w/Jana. And after talking through everything, she told me some very good news.

First off, she says that we have done all the right things in grieving and dealing with the miscarriage. (Jana sends a special hats-off to my mom who sent the plants.) She said that after talking with me, I sounded and seemed emotionally healthy, and that since physically I was back to "normal" I wouldn't even need an exam. It was gratifying to know that I'm not heartless or overly logical, and that my healing has been faster because we did all the things that help with recovery and did them well. Yes, I worried that I was being cold because of how quickly I moved through my grief. I'm nowhere near being over it, by any means, but all the little stuff has added up to a level of acceptance that I didn't expect this soon. Which is a good thing. I don't want to burst into tears if I walk past the aisle of diapers at the store.

Secondly, because I am emotionally and physically healthy, she thinks there is no reason in the world we should wait to try again. She agrees that I am ready to move forward, and if Rick and I are in agreement then we can go for it immediately and not wait at all.

For the record, it is very weird and also very refreshing to be asked direct questions like "Have you had sex since the miscarriage? How did it go for you?"

Lastly, she gave me a gift from both her and Julie - a leather-bound journal. Jana told me that both midwives would like me to journal about everything I feel and think and experience. She thought this baby blog was a great thing. But they do have a point. There are some things that I still will not share with the general public, and sometimes you just want to vent and not have it mean anything or be heard by anyone who might take it seriously. So I'll be dumping all my private, personal thoughts in there, and sharing everything else with this blog.

The only iffy spot was that I now hold the record for The Lowest Vitamin D Count That Jana Has Ever Seen.  BUT! I am now on 6000 IU's a day along with my prenatal vitamin, so that number should come up significantly by the next test when I'm pregnant again. I also have orders to spend 10 min a day in sunlight (whenever we have any) without sunscreen. Apparently, D deficiency is tied to some of the same things as PCOS - obesity, depression - and there are questions (but no answers) as to whether it contributes to miscarriage. At the very least, my count was way the hell too low, and I am working on correcting that.

We are trying again. If I get pregnant now, I could be having a Halloween-ish baby. That would be cool. :)