WTF

I think there's an universal law somewhere that says you've gotta have crap go wrong once in a while. And it never rains but it pours, right?

I am sick. It's a stupid cold. I feel like I'm dying. WTF, pregnancy?

I spent 3 hours in the clinic yesterday, being poked repeatedly (4 times, not counting the re-try on one) to take a blood test because suddenly my glucose levels are too high, even though they were normal 2 weeks ago. WTF, pregnancy?

I eat decently. I try to make good choices and stay fairly close to a low glycemic diet when I can. No, I'm not perfect at it, but I do make an effort to cut out/down cholesterol and fat and sugars and such. I just got the call back from the aforementioned blood tests. I have gestational diabetes already. WTF'ingF, pregnancy???

I'm whiny and grouchy as hell because of this übercold ravaging my system, and then I get bad news on top of it. How is this even REMOTELY fair right now? (For the record, the first person to tell me, "Life isn't fair" will find my foot lodged sideways in their rectum.) I am so frustrated and annoyed and upset. I know it's not the end of the world, but seriously? Couldn't I just have a normal run through this? Or at the VERY least, not have complications until later, when I don't have to be paranoid for another 5.5 months?

Maybe it's the virus talking, but I am feeling pretty crapped on right now. Bah.

Not Too Exciting, Just An Update

Another prenatal visit checked off the list! This one was quick and painless. Mostly just to check in with test results, discuss how things are going, and do a quick heartbeat listen. 160bpm this time. Jana hadn't heard it yet, and she was really happy to get to run the doppler.

So... getting used to the weird swooshy-dropping-fluttery feeling of baby doing gymnastics is not quite so magical and awe-inspiring as it is often made out to be. Now don't get me wrong, it is freaking neat to know there is a little live being inside me wiggling around making that sensation. But the first day that I could really feel baby somersaulting (and HOO BOY was she/he active that day, right after the day I spent w/the uncomfortable pressure. Guess my uterus stretched enough to give her a running start at tumbling!) I spent the whole day queasy and finally puked up my dinner before calling it a day and attempting to sleep. It was the worst I'd felt since the morning sickness wore off. Y'know that feeling when you're stepping off something just a little bit too high? Kind of a dropping of the stomach? It's like that. Only sustained for anywhere from seconds to minutes at a time. And every round of it made me queasy like a roller coaster gone bad. I'm finally adjusting to the sensations now, but she/he can still get an occasional flip in that slams into the uterine wall w/enough force to make me catch my breath and stifle an *urp*. Amazing what a couple of ounces with mobility can do to a person.

In 2 weeks, I get to do the really fun glucose tolerance test, drinking 1/2 bottle of nasty sugar water (lemon-lime!) They're also doing a blood draw that day for the other genetic screening.

2 weeks after that, I have another prenatal visit. I'll only be 18 weeks along, but Jana said we could possibly take a peek on their (somewhat inferior) ultrasound machine, maybe get a look at baby's gender? Hopefully baby will cooperate and be all spread eagle for us. :D

And The Results Are In...

Before the screening, my chances of chromosomal abnormalities (based on age and other factors):
Down's: 1 in 271
Triwhatsits 13 & 18: 1 in 497

After the screening, my odds are now:
Down's: 1 in 5401
Triwhatsits 13 & 18: 1 in 9921

It's always wonderful when the nurse calls and starts the conversation with, "I have good news for you!" I may even stop grinning sometime today. :D

Genetic Screen

Today we went in for my genetic screening. Basically it's a test that shows whether or not I have higher or lower risk of birth defects like Down's syndrome. It doesn't tell for sure whether the baby has it, but it can tell us if there is a reason for concern or if we should consider further testing (in this case, it would be an amniocentesis.)

THE DOWN SIDE: I have really good platelets. Part of the test requires a finger jab (middle finger) and 5 really big drops of blood. By #4, I was clotting. By #5, I'd stopped bleeding entirely. So I got a second finger jab in my index finger. OW. One more enormous drop and I had two bandaged fingers to take home as a souvenir.

THE UP SIDE: Baby's feet. Well, they were pointing up, anyway. The other part of the test is an ultrasound to check the size of this little space in the skin on the back of baby's neck. The space was well within normal size and baby is exactly where she/he should be for growth. Placenta is posterior and not low (perfect). But it was also a grand excuse to gawk at our little one that finally looks human. Baby was standing on its head, feet pointed up. The Dr. turned the sound on and charted the heartbeat, so we got to hear it again. So fast and loud! 150bpm, which is gloriously healthy.  We saw the heart beating and the spine and the itsy nose and chin and - best of all - watched baby wiggle its arms and kick its teeny legs and I even saw the mouth open and close. We have a string of printed pictures that I will post at some point.

A couple bandaids as a tradeoff for baby wiggles? Deal. :D

2nd Trimester, Beeyotches!!

Ok, sorry it's been a while. September has been a rollercoaster for me, hormones and schedules all over the place. With that said...

BOOYAH!!!!!

I am now OFFICIALLY in my 2nd trimester! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*break for victory lap around the room*

I feel so much better. Not just the nausea finally giving over 99% of the time now, but also because we are past the worst danger of miscarriage and birth defects. I feel SO DAMN EXCITED now, this one is really gonna stick! Thank you for all the sticky velcro-tape-glue thoughts early on; they seem to have worked like a charm. <3

My biggest complaint now is that April feels so far away and I'm in desperate need of a baby fix. I think I'll start making the rounds of all my new mommy friends and usurping their bundles of joy for a few hours at a time.

Things are looking up for the household, too. We've been in a conundrum over how we'd afford a 2nd vehicle once baby's here, but needed to make it happen so I wouldn't be stranded w/no transport 5 days a week. But we figured it would work out like it should, and we'd find a way to budget for it. Then my grandmother (bless her to the bottoms of her feet) decided she isn't driving enough to need her car anymore, so she's selling it to us. It's only 4 years old, has less than 30k miles on it, and has been kept in fantastic shape. This will officially be the youngest car I've ever owned, lol. We may not get it until spring, but considering how well everything else has worked out on its own, I think I will not stress about that detail.

In slightly weirder, ignore-this-if-you-want-to news, I dreamed about the baby. Definitely a girl with the chubbiest cheeks you've seen. (She's probably gonna have my cheek structure, poor thing.) Lots of sources - including my midwife - say that pregnant moms will often dream their babies with surprising accuracy. Hope so. :)

p.s. Believe it or not, I am 99% sure I felt the baby flutter-movement in the past few days. Very faint, can only feel it occasionally when I'm lying still and quiet at night, but I swear to you it is there. Crazy. :D

=O

Julie: "Now, 10 weeks is a little early, and we can't always find the heartbeat on doppler this week. So I don't want you to panic if we can't find it. It really is ok, nothing to be worried about."
She sticks the doppler wand on my tummy.
*whoosh whoosh*
"Hmm, that's you..."
She adjusts the wand.
*lub lub lub lub*
"That's you."
She moves the wand to the far side of my belly.
*lub lub lub lub*
"And that's still you..."
She slides the wand to the center and up a little.
*THUD-THUD THUD-THUD*
"There's baby."
Me: . . . !!!!!! *insert silent awe and wonder and amazement*

I cried. It was beautiful. Rick squeezed my leg. I know I probably said some really inadequate things about how neat it was, but really my brain was just soaking in the sound. I've heard moms talk about this moment over and over, and thought, "yeah, that would be really cool." But that doesn't even come close to describing the overwhelming.... EVERYTHING ... that hits you when you hear it and realize that is your baby; your very much alive little being swimming inside your body; that teensy thing who doesn't even weigh half an ounce yet has a fully-formed heart making that surprisingly loud thumping. I am in tears now just writing about it. So incredible.

Other than that, which is more than enough all by itself, my checkup was wonderful. Blood tests were lovely, will have to watch my thyroid (which mom says is exactly how she was). My cervix is healthy looking and a proper size. My nipples look great for breast feeding. My lungs and heart sound great, and all signs point to this being a normal, healthy pregnancy! Next appt. is the first week of Oct. and I'll be doing an early genetic screen the last week of Sept. to assess my risk of Down's. But since there are absolutely no occurrences of genetic problems - Down's, birth defects, nothing - in the family, I'm not terribly concerned. I doubt we'll do an amnio unless something comes up really funky. This screening is non-invasive. Finger prick blood test and an ultrasound. Done.

I am so incredibly happy. I feel like I'm gonna splode happiness all over everyone that gets near me. :D

HALLELUJAH FOR PLACENTAS!

For the first time since all the nausea started approx. 8 weeks ago, I FEEL HUMAN!

I'm still a teensy touch queasy, and talking about it makes it flare up, but overall it is leaps and bounds better today!  I woke up feeling a bit puky, chatted to Kari for an hour or so on the phone, and by the time we hung up I was already doing better. I gagged once today, but all it produced was an acidic bubble. I ate an entire meal for lunch, and it tasted good! And has stayed down w/no nausea!! Yay for baby producing its own hormones via the placenta! I figure another week or so, I should be out of the worst of it. WOO!

Also, today I am 10 weeks along. This is a big week, because I'm finally moving out of the miscarriage danger zone and will be able to hear baby's heartbeat on doppler (if we have another ultrasound soon, otherwise it will wait until 16 weeks or so). My next prenatal is Thursday, where I'll get the whole pelvic exam done. Feet in stirrups and poking and prodding at my uterus and all that fun stuff, whee. Might ask for a doppler anyway, just because I can.

For the first time in 2 months, I think maybe I will survive this whole shebang. It's definitely easier to have a positive outlook when you're not miserable w/hormones. :D