Gruesome Truths

I have been compiling lists of truths about 1st Trimester that are either not mentioned or are glossed over with a mere, "yeah, this can happen" type comment. This is all from my experience, and yes I am aware that every pregnancy is different. However, if you're planning on having a baby, you may want to pay attention.

INDIGESTION
What they tell you: You'll probably have it. Eat smaller meals more often. (Same advice they give for nausea.)
What really happens: This is NOT your average indigestion! It's one thing to eat a dense, heavy meal and have it sit there a couple hours. It's entirely different to eat a normal dinner and have it still there the next morning! I have spent evenings in bed charting the progression of my meal through my intestines. Not joking at all - I could feel it moving, inch by inch.

SALIVARY PRODUCTION
What they tell you: Often, mothers notice they produce more saliva. It may be linked to the nausea.
What really happens: Lying awake at night, trying to swallow enough times to clear your mouth long enough to fall asleep w/o drenching your pillow. Desperation can lead to mouth breathing in an attempt to dry out everything.

EXHAUSTION
What they tell you: You can feel really tired. Don't be surprised if you feel like you've run a marathon after only a few minutes of exertion.
What really happens: Nothing can prepare you for this level of exhaustion. Example: I slept close to 12 hrs one night, got up, dressed, ate breakfast, poked around online a few minutes, and was back in bed in less than 2 hrs. You will sleep forever once you can get comfy enough to zonk out. Then you will nap. Then you will not feel up to doing anything. Then you will nap more. Your pillow becomes your best friend. You will feel lazy, useless, worthless, and unable to do a damn thing about it most days.

TEETH
What they tell you: Get dental work done before you're pregnant or early on. Pregnancy can be hard on teeth.
What actually happens: I did not read nor receive any other info on this subject until out of the blue my tooth broke this past weekend. Suddenly I hear from several mothers that apparently quite a lot of moms lose a tooth every time they're pregnant. WTF!! Don't the baby books and pregnancy sites think that could be an important piece of info for a mom-to-be?? I know I'd have found that far more relevant than the 50 diatribes on what might possibly go wrong in utero but probably won't because they're rare conditions.

CONSTIPATION
What they tell you: This is very common. Get plenty of fiber and try not to eat too many foods that aggravate the condition.
What actually happens: Frankly, you eat what sounds good and is (hopefully) relatively nutritious. If that means cheese at every meal, you thank your lucky stars that you don't puke it up and can at least get some calcium and protein from it. When the constipation kicks in, ain't nothing moving that blockage before it's darn good and ready to move. If you strain, you get hemorrhoids. If you don't strain, you feel miserable. There is nothing I can think of to compare to the agony of waves of diarrhea cramps so bad you break out in a greasy sweat and want to vomit, and that damned blockage stubbornly refusing to move and release you from the torment. When you have spent an hour on the toilet and begun to mentally work out the logistics of a teeny version of a lifeguard hook that might be inserted to pull everything loose, you will know real constipation.

GAS
What they tell you: You will experience more gas production in your body. This is normal.
What actually happens: You will belch and fart quite a lot. Burping becomes your lifeline for avoiding a round of puking. You will fart in front of family, friends, and strangers and not care because the release of pressure from your belly is far more important than any odd stare or giggle.

URINATION
What they tell you: It can seem like you're peeing every 5 minutes!
What actually happens: Some days you will actually pee every 5 minutes.

DISGUSTING EVENTS
What they tell you: It's ok to discuss even the least socially acceptable aspects of what happens to your body with your doctor/midwife.
What actually happens: You will also find another mom with which to share the most viscous, corporeal, and gag-inducing stories that you'd never DREAM of sharing in polite company. And the other mom will commiserate and share horrific gross stories of her own. And it will give you both a laugh and a bond that nobody else quite gets until they've gone through it.

Things I Have Learned Recently

1. Going to see the last Harry Potter movie, while a wonderful break from sitting in the house, is probably not the best idea when you're full of pregnancy hormones and have read the books so you know what's going to happen and end up crying through the last hour of the movie.

2. After 2 days of puking up everything you eat, a movie theater hot dog can taste like manna from the heavens.

3. The only way to eat cottage cheese is on cheddar & sour cream Ruffles. Nom.

4. If caffeinated diet soda tastes good and stays down, I'm damn well going to drink it. To hell with the sodium and caffeine. At least there's no sugar.

5. Saltines can leave a really disgusting sour aftertaste when your sense of taste is screwed up.

6. Even with the nasty aftertaste, sometimes there's no substitute for a couple of saltines and plain water.

7. Never, EVER think that your misery can't get worse. The universe will slap you down just to show you it can.  It's amazing how much more tolerable my general nausea is now that I had those 2 days of constant puking...

8. Not pregnancy related, but the music video for Lady Gaga's "You & I" is fantastic.

9. Husbands need naps almost as bad as pregnant wives do.

10. I am still going to occasionally flip out a little bit when I'm struck by momentary panic that something feels "wrong" and it might be an early sign of miscarriage, even when it's nothing. Even when I've puked less than an hour before and have no good reason to think that way.

And finally, we've recently learned that our elder cat, Shady, tends to dole out affection in ratio to the size of poop he's just left in the litter box.  The bigger the dump, the lovier the kitty. And as he's now in my lap purring and demanding to be petted, I'd say we've got a doozy in there. >.<

Urp...

Oh god. I thought the nausea couldn't get much worse. Was I ever wrong.

Dinner Thursday was the last thing I've kept down. Nothing seems to want to stay. I've tried all kinds of stuff from eating normal food to soft foods to pb&j to ice cream to babying my tummy w/whatever sounds good. NOTHING works. If this keeps up, I'm calling Jana come Monday morning.

Why, oh darling baby that I want so dearly, why must you torment me so? Whose bright idea was it that procreation should be so miserable? I'm only fulfilling my genetic destiny here, so why not make it easier?? Damn you, evolution, that you haven't sorted this one out yet!

*off to puke more*

Stupid Stupidhead

I love my husband. He is considerate and sweet and wonderful and I wouldn't trade him.

So what do I do when I ask him to do housework... and he DOES it... and I end up wanting to burst into tears and punch a wall because I can't help? He went above and beyond what I asked him to do, and I just feel horrible that I'm not doing anything! I don't want to cry at him when he's being so fantastic! It's like I can't win. If nothing gets done, I cry over not feeling good enough to do anything. When Rick ends up working on it by himself, I cry over not feeling good enough to do anything. STUPID CRYING!!! STUPID HORMONES!!! GAHH!!

...Ok, sorry. Deep breath.

I know most of this is all the chemicals going crazy in my body right now. But I feel like I'm constantly whiny and useless. I am so nauseated that I can barely move out of the bed after lunch. (My morning sickness is mostly evening sickness - it gets worse as the day progresses.) So when I see my poor hubby sweating over a hot vacuum cleaner, the guilt creeps in. Yes, today he mostly worked on things I couldn't help with anyway, like moving some of his scrap wood into the shed that only he has the key to, and scrubbing out the kitty corner in the laundry room. It's still frustrating.

I take breaks from the bed to sit at the comp for as long as I can tolerate being upright. And what constructive use of that time, complaining to a baby blog. Go, me!

Pity party, my house, right now. You bring the shiny hats, I've got the confetti.

p.s. - Jamie, if the offer for those preggo pops still stands, I'll take you up on it. We went hunting for them locally and it seems our stores don't carry them. =(

BLAM!!

Holy gods, when I do something I do it ALL THE WAY.

I was living up to my motto of "Anything worth doing is worth doing to excess" a moment ago, as dinner came exploding out of me. From both ends. Simultaneously. Poor Rick is now trying to unclog the sink. Thank heavens he has a strong stomach. That was wretched.

Maybe the Tangler Burger (bacon cheeseburger w/fried onion strips) wasn't the best idea for dinner, no matter how good it sounded at the time?

I expected to relax with the stress reduction, not to erupt. *sigh* Commencer le vomissement, ah oui!

The Most Beautiful Thing I've Seen

Baby has a heartbeat.

Baby is alive, exactly the right size and age, looks healthy, and has a heartbeat. And I got to see it.

I can't remember the last time I've cried so hard from joy. Rick had to drive us home. I think he even cried a little.

I have printout photos of my little lump of baby. I will post copies as soon as I get them on my comp.

Best. Day. Ever. <3

Phew!

Feeling a bit less stressed now that the 1st visit is over. Mainly we went over our family and medical history again (they already have it on file from January, so that was quick), signed the consent forms for treatment, and discussed some questions and concerns. Jana is the best. Oh, and I had 3 vials of blood drawn for several tests. We got the ok for things sounding very normal, and she agrees that for now we have no reason to think this pregnancy will be anything but perfectly healthy.

She even said all this miserable nausea is for a good cause, because it means my hormones are rising like they should be. Thank god, because this is so much worse than last time. Even though I understand the sentiment, I still suppressed the split-second urge to punch her when she told me, "I hope you stay sick for a long time!" :)

Ultrasound tomorrow afternoon. All I ask for is one good, clear shot of a heartbeat. Show me a flutter and I will be content.

Feet And Other Unpleasant Smells

Everything is smelling and tasting weird to me since yesterday. My stomach is rebelling against the onslaught of nastiness. I'm eating saltines - SALTINES, mind you! - and they are leaving a bizarre, almost sour aftertaste in my mouth. And to top it off, today for some unexplained reason, everything smells like dirty feet. At one point, I started hunting around my desk to see if Kobe had left his dirty socks here. It's quite wretched, since I'd love to eat something to stop the nausea.

Anyone else ever had that happen? A sudden swap to smelling something gross no matter where you go?

I think I may go plug my nose and try to eat some lunch. And maybe take a shower, just in case. *gag*

*Poke* ...Ow.

Ahh, THERE'S the super sore boobs I remember. Nice of you to join us. A little forewarning might have been nice - not that I mind your visit at all, but sometimes knowing ahead can make a transition smoother. Instead of waking up to *SURPRISE! YOUR BREASTS ARE INSTANTLY AGONIZING!* 

Honestly, I'll try not to complain too much about it. I was settling into a rut of not feeling very pregnant. My symptoms have been blissfully mild (other than the constant exhaustion), and even the headaches and queasy have been settling down. The soreness upon waking yesterday felt like a "Yep, still here!" flag being waved to remind me that everything is going well.

According to the calculator thingy, I should be about 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant today. (I.E. baby is just over 3 weeks old.)  Naturally I want things to hurry up, but at the same time I am trying very hard to just enjoy now for what it is. After the last pregnancy, I am fine with things taking their time and being slow and as normal as possible.

Seriously, Do They Make Air Conditioned Underpants?

Dear lord, I can't cool off enough.

My body temp was so consistently high yesterday that if I even left the room w/the AC I'd start getting queasy from heat. I don't have a fever at all. I'm just really, really warm. I froze poor Kobe and Rick last night because I couldn't stand the room at less than full-blast AC. The kid even had to get an extra blanket, and he usually sleeps without one at all. While the two guys were bundled up, I was kicking the covers off and sweating. I felt bad for them, but not bad enough to turn the temp up. Ugh.

I just can't seem to get comfortably cool. It's very frustrating. Maybe I'll go take a lukewarm shower and see if I can drop my core temp a bit. So... freaking... hot... >.<